THE WISE GUY (A story about growing in relations
In any relationship, there is a time to give space, and a time to be lovingly persistent when we are stuck in a pattern.
“Yes?” I replied distractedly.
“Don’t you think we spend too much time on the computer? What do you think about having no media one day a week?”
On one hand I was very impressed that my techie husband (who was constantly on the computer), would come up with such an insightful idea.
On the other hand, I was annoyed because I had waited all day for the kids to go to sleep to so I could finally unwind in front of the computer. (Maybe this subject was best addressed when I was not doing exactly what he was suggesting we NOT do!)
“Perhaps.” I replied.
“Well don’t you think that the computer has taken the place of the TV in becoming a mindless addiction? Maybe if we weren’t on the computer so much we would have more time for other things?”
“Let me think about it.” I said as I scrolled down the page I was on. (Translation: I’m busy and I don’t want to talk about it right now.)
“What is there to think about? ” (Translation: You are avoiding my brilliant idea.)
“I don’t think you are wrong. In fact, I agree with you, but I need to think about how it is going to fit in our lives.” (Translation: I have spent the last 8 years going straight from taking notes in class on the computer, to using the computer at work, to doing homework on the computer at night. Now that school is done, I have gotten into a mindless addictive habit of going straight to the computer, and I don’t like being caught in my addiction red-handed.)
“How about Sunday?” He persisted.
So to make a long story short, he didn’t let me squirm out of this one. Darn it! In the end, I pretty quickly admitted that he’d hit against my defenses. I was proud of the fact that I didn’t watch TV or a lot of shows, but I was caught in the addiction of busywork on the computer that was nothing more than an extension of ADD nation. It was a hard pill to swallow and one I preferred not to look at. Of course, my husband knew me well enough to know the difference between when I was being authentic and when I was being avoidant.
“It’s a good idea.” I said at last.
Then I grinned, “So just remember this the next time you get resistant when we talk about finances.”
“Uh oh.” The combination of mirth and horror on his face was priceless.
And, I am happy to say, we set up a meeting with a financial advisor the very next day….
Tabitha Marsh combines Massage & Acupuncture to provide natural pain relief and mental-emotional balance. She also teaches classes on Qigong & Cultivating Health & Wellbeing.